10 things you don’t want your doctor to say

Here are ten things you don’t want your doctor to say:

  1. “Sorry if I seem distracted. I had another malpractice suited filed against me this morning.”
  2. “That last round of Jagerbombs last night probably wasn’t a good idea.”
  3. “If Walgreens can’t fill this prescription, send me a text. I’ve got a guy.”
  4. “I’m really glad ‘House’ is on TBS every weeknight now. I learn SO MUCH from that show.”
  5. “Until that cyst of yours is bigger than a softball, it’s really nothing to worry about.
  6. “You know. I’m not really sure what’s wrong with you. Have you tried drinking some herbal tea?”
  7. “As long as you keep the smoking to a pack or even a pack-and-a-half a day, you’ll be fine.”
  8. “Huh. I’ve never seen THAT before.”
  9. “I went to school in Panama. I did pretty well considering I don’t speak Spanish.”
  10. “You should move to Colorado. Did you know pot is legal there now?”

Got a flu shot on Tuesday, and took my son to the doctor yesterday for the same and a standard blood test. I’ve been annoyed with Anthem Blue Cross because I can’t get through to cancel my individual health care plan. Major customer service issues. Blech.

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